The Benefit of a Friend.. With Benefits
For those of you who don’t know what the term “friend with benefits” means, grow up. We’ve all seen the movies. It’s the newest, convenient way to enjoy all the perks of lover, without the love, commitment, or hassle. However, nothing in life is ever as easy as it seems.
A friend with benefits is simply a friend that allows you to enjoy the pleasurable (sexual) benefits that one would receive in a relationship. Just like with any arrangement, there are rules. Rule number one: don’t catch feelings. When embarking on this turbulent adventure, know the risks. Love may hit you unexpectedly. This may sound fun and romantic, if it’s reciprocated. Realistically, not everybody falls in love with someone who loves him or her back. Therefore, if rule number one is broken, the arrangement may turn into a relationship…or a disaster.
After rule number one, there really are no rules. It is a fun and easy way to basically get whatever you want without getting hurt. However, everything has to end some way.
Females are naturally emotional creatures; I can vouch for that wholeheartedly. When dealing with a “friend,”,you have to be real with yourself. If you start catching feelings, own up to them. Jealousy comes naturally, there’s no need to ignore it. I think the major flaw in these relationships is lack of honesty, and constant bulls***. People like to believe they can take part in such a thing and remain emotionless. No, we all have feelings. Just because we are not dating, doesn’t mean what you do has no effect on me.
The entire concept of having someone you are close with, also meet your “other” needs is almost genius. It is easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of conflicting emotions. “We’re friends, but we’re not friends?” The questions continue to arise: “How do we act in public?” “What if I start to like him?” “Do I still date other people?” It is very easy to get confused.
Being overly analytical is in a female’s nature. With a situation like this, there is so much to analyze. On the other hand, guys simply enjoy getting the best of both worlds while living their carefree, worry-free lifestyles. They don’t care that we sit over here and agonize about the mere thought of unrequited emotions. As long as the convenience remains, they can remain calm.
A woman can only contain her emotional turmoil for so long. Eventually, “the talk” will happen. I am not saying she is going to fall head over heels, but she is going to ponder every “what if” combination she can think of. We fear the thought of ending up hurt, and with an unstable situation such as this, the possibilities of someone ending up damaged is pretty high.
If only we were so lucky as to be emotionless humans like the male species. Unnecessary attachments would be a thing of the past, and frivolous flings would remain as such. Sadly, I am not. I am riddled with care and passion. I cry when I watch “The Notebook,” I scream when I’m scared and I trust those haven’t earned it (disclaimer: not all woman are like this).
In the extremely unfortunate event that you fall for your “friend,” all you can do is hope he has fallen too. My guess is, he hasn’t. Men are designed to go after what they want. If he wanted you, he would say it. He wouldn’t wait until it was said, to merely agree. There is still hope it can happen, however. In the grand scheme of things, he has been getting everything a guy could ask for. A good friend and lover, all in one. Why would anybody want to change that with stipulations, rules and boundaries? If you’ve been giving somebody free McDonalds for a year, and then suddenly give them the option to start paying for it, or continue receiving it for free, which do you think they will choose?
At the end of the day, a friend with benefits is simply that. It’s a great idea, and a lot of fun, as long as you remember you are just a friend, who is getting some benefits.